Oh, blah blah.

Yes, yes. I know. I’ve been MIA again. Talk about major blogger’s block.

Last weekend was fun, but just pretty average on the shenanigans chart. I wasn’t compelled to recap, but for the sake of reader curiosity and to sustain the diaryness of this here blog, I will very briefly summarize:

Dinner at Stella’s on Friday with the Iceberg family, lots of vodka, frozen pizza by 1AM.  Saturday hangover, Cut Copy concert at First Ave with Mandon, drunken Jimmy John’s by 10:30PM, passed out by 11:00 (after trying to watch this movie). Sunday was apparently unmemorable because the entire day escapes me.

Anyway, my sister Lex just “officially” announced they’re going to have another baby. It’s quite exciting. I’m kind of a deadbeat Aunt already, so why not double time it!? Only kidding… kind of.

Speaking of babies, Ally McBeal is now available on instant Netflix (the famous dancing baby…). If you don’t know my history with Ally, go ahead and read my “Inside Ally McBlog” section, then make fun of me. You bet I’ve been watchin’ 5 episodes a night! (on average).

When I’m not watching Ally McBeal, I’m probably watching COPS or First 48.  I don’t know about you, but I think watching Officer Randy Day chug along after a mulleted, dirty t-shirt-wearing redneck for getting busted with a meth-head hooker is a great way to relieve the aches of a long day.  The generally unsolved murder mysteries of the First 48, however, may be entertaining, but they tend to be a little more serious/depressing than the hilariousness of COPS (tonight’s episode lured out a couple of tears).

What I really miss watching, though, are all those fantastically unrealistic crime shoes. I’m totally a sucker for Bones, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Without a Trace, and Leverage. My mom used to get upset with me because the DVR wouldn’t record Dancing with the Stars because I’d racked up more episodes of Criminal Minds than I could keep up with. My family is really cool, I swear! …

Speaking of swearing, my sister mentioned to me how her husband apologized for saying “fart” in front of their two-year old. She asked him why he felt bad because “fart” isn’t a naughty word. He told her that since she always uses words like “poo”, “bum” and “toot”, he assumed that was the language he was supposed to employ. My sister explained that those were just the words she’s always used. Again, my family is really cool, I swear! …

Moving along to a brief episode that actually happened about 30 minutes ago… My younger sister, Boo, was Skyping with her boyfriend who’s interning in Ohio, when she started showing him around the current state of demolition in our kitchen, which my parents are remodeling (“That’s where the oven was… here’s where the new fridge will go”…).

“You’re so nerdy!” I laughed from my station in the family room.

Before either of them had time to reply, I followed up with the recognition that, yes, I was voting for my favorite American Idol contestants from my parent’s couch.

“Kettle… black…” Her boyfriend pointed out. Touche.

And to remedy this clear and present nerd status, I decided to switch on a little Darius Rucker and hop on to my blog to talk about myself.

FAIL.

Last Weekend: The Basics

Hidey-ho, readers!

I hope you all had a marvelous weekend. I did.

Friday started early with happy hour at the Independent. When Kitty and I arrived around 5:30, Moon and Crumb were already bellied up to the bar taking advantage of the two-fers. Tow Truck joined us shortly thereafter, followed by Becs and CK. It’s a good thing Tow Truck enjoys girl talk because, after a few weeks of missing each other, we indulged.

After accepting an offer from the waitress for a large table (one that made Moon feel like she was in a board meeting), we had to get cozy to make room for Fiss, Paca, Megmac, Mandon and Mr. Iceberg. A couple hours later, when we were all filled up on fried food and booze, the gang opted for a change of scenery and made way for Drink.  Their 7-10 happy hour boasts $3 martinis and $2 tap beers, overriding the general distaste for the atmosphere there.

Considering the amount of alcohol we’d drank by 10ish, it didn’t take long for the idea of downtown bars to work its way into conversation. Before I knew it, we were piled into Zim’s SUV heading for Bootleggers.  Bootleggers turned into the Imperial Room, which turned into The Loon, and then back to the Imperial Room. It was a really fuzzy journey, but we did get to play with Jeef, Jer Bear, Fry and others who were all much more sober and enjoying the Imperial Room.

I was just about blacked out when Iceberg and I headed home with Mandon to crash on his couch. The morning was rough. Mandon’s brother emerged from his room around 8:30, and said “Hey Ally, you look… nice.” Thanks asshole.

Anyway, I pulled myself together enough for lunch and shopping with the girls.

Dinner was at Gingerhop at 7:00. Our group filled up one big long table of 20. The Chinese/Thai food was amazing and the cocktails certainly packed a punch. Nearly three hours later, the whole team headed to Knight’s Cap in the Northeast.  However, there was a mutton-chopped Touch Tunes Nazi who was ruining the fun townie bar with death metal music, so after a couple rounds of darts and shots, we crossed the street to Mayslacks.

It was here that a handful of us (Kitty, Moon, Fiss, Becs, Mr. Iceberg and I) made the decision to meet a whole different party of people downtown at Sneaky Pete’s. Gross, we know. Stripper poles and Affliction t-shirts rounded out our night, and before I knew it, Iceberg and I were heading back to his place in a town car.

Sunday afternoon came far too quickly, and I joined Mr. Iceberg and Dino as they signed the lease for their new apartment in the Kenwood neighborhood of Minneapolis (which happens to be walking distance from my office…), so that was exciting. Although, I’m a little disappointed I missed out on Fiss and Paca’s stop at the Smitten Kitten that day…

In conclusion:

Fun weekend. Busy though. No one was arrested. There was a lot of dancing. I may have cried at the bar once.

On a side note, Friday will be April and it was 20 degrees this morning on my way in to work. That’s just the lamest thing I’ve ever heard in my whole life. Mother Nature better get her shiz in gear before I start chopping down trees and running around spraying aerosols.

That is all.

I Hate You, Spring Fashion!

Because you’re such a tease!! (but really, I adore you.)

As much as I love the black leather and studs of the winter, I’m growing impatient with this season because I keep seeing more and more gorgeous flirty spring heels! It’s only January and peeptoe-time is still weeks away, but I’m under siege and I don’t know that my wallet will survive!

The truly frightening part is that all of these pretties are completely within my budget… I love you, I love you, I love you.  April, hurry yo’ warm ass up!

In case you didn’t notice…

… I have made a couple changes to McBlog lately.

I completely revamped my post categories. And by “revamped” I mean I deleted all the old ones and created totally new categories.  WWIII of blog categories, if you will.  I now have just four, easy sections to choose from that should better sum up the pointlessness of Ally McBlog.

Also, I stopped writing my weekly posts (ie. Last Weekend, Tuesday of Knowledge) … Out of laziness or lack of material, I’m not sure, but for whatever reason they’re gone.  Good riddance. I can’t handle that much structure anyway. Stop your bitching and prepare a future of unmitigatedly slapdash randomness.

Let me know if you have any comments, questions, concerns… maybe just all the positive stuff… I’m quite sensitive.

(paradox)

I’ll say it again for you… slapdash.