To Be (a color), or Not To Be (a color)

Years ago, when I realized that my favorite color is white, I wasn’t ready for the unwavering rejection I’d get from almost everyone I told. Due to the constant criticism, I found it timely to preface my color choice admission with a disclaimer such as “You may oppose the legitimacy of it, but…”.

I then began artlessly arguing that it’s possible to consider white a color when regarding favorites because there are countless objects to be described as “white”.  I have a white phone, drive a white car, and my white towels could probably use a spin through the wash. What’s that? You like my white shirt? Hey, thanks!

Eventually though, my defenses started falling on deaf ears. Clearly, for certain purposes, white can and  should be considered a color and the logic discussed briefly above completely supports that. However, my adversaries refuse to accept my claims as practical, so I’m forced to get to the root of what white is and in doing so, may have to figure out what the hell black is, too.

I’m sure there are plenty of articles debating the validity of white and black, but let’s just skim the main points, shall we? Basically, there are two types of color, the first is color created by light and the second is pigmented, tangible color.

When it comes to light, black is technically “the absence of light” and therefore is  not a color. In this respect, white is a mush of all colors, so is considered a color. Sunlight is a white light because it is comprised of every color, only when the atmosphere bends the light rays are you able to see the separate colors and get to shout, “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! IT’S FULL ON DOUBLE RAINBOW! ALL THE WAY ACROSS! WOOOO!” … or maybe that guy gets more excited about it than you do…

As far as pigmented color goes, black becomes a color and it’s in this form that mixing all the colors will give you black instead of white. Since you can’t mix any colors to create white, it can be considered the absence of color this time.

Are you still with me? Do you think both sides are right? Well, there’s one more point that needs to be made.

Most of those tangible objects appear to be the colors they are because the material they are made up of reflects certain colors and absorbs others. A red apple looks red because that is the wavelength of light that it’s reflecting. A white object reflects every color and absorbs none, which actually means it is a color… the all-color. The most powerful color. The most well-rounded, open-minded, and friendly color!!*

I win.

And just so you know, I will continue to fight you. I will continue to have a love affair with my white European pillow shams and that sexy pair of brand new white socks. I will also always love a nice, white set of teeth.

*Please note that the results of this study are based off a rather elementary looking website and my own personal opinion. If you have any complaints or suggestions, I don’t really care to hear them. Praise and support, on the other hand, are always welcome.

Oh, the purity of it all!!!!!

Where’s my rocketship, damn it?!

Taking a short break from discussing my sorry love life with myself, I’d like to fill you in on a little (huge) discovery recently made by astronomers.

You may have already heard, but they found a star that has a solar system of 6 planets (second largest solar system, next to our own, that we know of…reminds me of de-planeted Pluto, sad.), one of which has the potential for life.

The nerd in me feasts on this kind of information.  This is historic!!

With a rather unromantic label, the planet known as Gliese 581g (can we rename it “Whimzee” or at least something more celestial?)  is 20 light years away, which is relatively close in space time.

Gliese 581g (Whimzee) is, like, 3 or 4 times the size of Earth, so I guess that means it most likely has a solid surface, and is orbiting in what scientists call the “habitable zone”, or “Goldilocks zone” (e.g. Earth is in the Sun’s habitable/Goldilocks zone, Neptune is not.).  The real kicker is, Whimzee’s neighbor planet, Gliese 581d (“Blinky”), could ALSO contain life. WHA?! Double whammy!  But, Blinky is huge and on the edge of the zone, so it’s less likely… but still.

Anyway, back to Whimzee.  Whimzee is planet #4 in line from its little sun, but it only takes 37 days to fully orbit it. However, here’s the twist: since it is so close to its sun, the pull or tides or whatever make it so the planet doesn’t spin. It has a night side and a day side and each side stays as such at all times. So unless Whimzee has a kickass distributive atmosphere, it could get pretty darn hot on the day side and pretty darn cold on the night side. But let’s think positive, this could be awesome if you’re a night owl/vampire … or if you would find it convenient to be able to lay out for a tan at 2AM!

Alright kids, that’s the basics of Gliese  581g! You can bet I’ll be reading up on this shiz … truly fascinating.   Have a lovely Thursday (and if you’re ever gazing up at Libra, don’t try to see Gliese 581g’s star, cause you can’t)! 

PS: I’m proud of you (very impressed actually) if you recognized my MoonDreamers references. That cartoon was pretty dope.

When is the word “poop” not funny?

So thesaurus.com is one of my favorite pastimes and today I learned that (supposedly) a synonym for “after” is “apoop”.  APOOP!?  What a way to make my day thesaurus.com!!  If you’re immature, like me, you obviously see what’s funny about this word.

Excited, I wanted to know more.  You have to be careful with synonyms because sometimes there are slight differences in word meanings so that replacing one word with another, doesn’t quite make sense (For example: “Ally is crazy cool.” makes sense, but replacing “cool” with a so-called synonym to say “Ally is crazy nifty.” doesn’t really make sense…. I mean, I guess I could be nifty…).

For this reason, I started to do some research on “apoop” to figure out how I could use this word in daily conversation.  Unfortunately, there’s not much out there to explain apoop.  As I mentioned above, according to thesaurus.com, “apoop” is a workable replacement for “after”, but other than that, I don’t know much more.

If anyone out there can help explain the exact meaning of “apoop” I would greatly appreciate it.  Who wouldn’t want to be able to say, “I’ll call you back apoop the meeting.” or “I’m having an apoop-party tonight!!”?

PS: Looking back at the other synonyms for “after” I’m rather intrigued… Echinoproctous? Penultimate? Steatopygous?  Excuse you… ??  “After” is more complicated that I would have thought.

UPDATE: Yes. I meant APPAP when I typed in totally different letters. Duh. … Stupid dictionary….

Tuesday of Knowledge… But it’s Wednesday?

I apologize for the delay in getting your weekly dose of smarts to you.  I know how much you all LOVE learning; especially when the teacher is yours truly.

The StarTribune has daily Isaac Asimov quizzes, and last Friday’s subject was “Famous Ships”.  I bombed the quiz big time, but was very much intrigued by one of the ships mentioned.  So much so that I Googled it, Wikipedia’d it, and searched for a show related to it on the History Channel. Found one.

Her name was Mary Celeste. The Canadian-built, brigantine merchant ship is one of the most, if not the most, famous of all ghost ships.  And really, who doesn’t love a good ghost ship story?

Back in 1872, a well-liked (and quite attractive) ship captain named Benjamin Briggs loaded 1,701 barrels of commercial alcohol into his new ship’s cargo hold (not personally, of course) for delivery to Italy for use in wine production.  He had seven members in his crew and his wife and baby daughter were along for the ride, too, which seems kinda weird.

Benjamin Briggs. Behind that beard and horrible outfit is one sexy sea captain!

Anyway, Captain Briggs’ buddy, David Reed Morehouse, was captain of the Dei Gratia (and had a worse beard than Briggs).  Captain Morehouse set sail with the Dei Gratia about a week after the Mary Celeste and pretty much traveled along the same course.  However, about a month after the Mary Celeste left port and the Dei Gratia was still a few hundred miles from the Portuguese coast, Captain Morehouse’s crew spotted a ship yawning in the distance with funky sails.  As they got closer to the mystery vessel, they realized it was Brigg’s Mary Celeste.  Gasp! Morehouse became worried because his friend was supposed to have reached Italy by now. They left a week earlier, after all.

After not-so-secretly spying on the quiet Mary Celeste for a couple hours, the crew of the Dei Gratia saw no activity and decided it was safe to board and check her out.

Normally, a ship with no passengers, drifting in the wind would imply crazy pirates or crazy weather (crazy Bermuda triangle?), but, in the case of the Mary Celeste, neither seemed to be true.  The crew of the Dei Gratia, and later the European CSI people, found that, though she was pretty wet, the Mary Celeste was still seaworthy.  Only the ships papers and a lifeboat were missing.  The clock was not functioning and the compass was seriously messed up.  Yet, all of the ship’s cargo, the crew’s personal possessions, and a six-month supply of uncontaminated food and water were still on board.  AND there was absolutely no sign of a struggle (besides, what kind of lazy pirates throw the crew overboard, but take nothing?)

So where did everyone go?

To find out, stay tuned for part two of the mystery that is the Mary Celeste!

A Love-Hate Relationship (but mostly love)

I love heels. Platforms, peep-toes, stilettos, wedges, t-straps, metallics, funky colors.  I don’t discriminate. The higher the better.  These beauts, for example, make my heart race and my  (and then I start feeling slightly depressed because I don’t actually own them):

The love of sky-high footwear has been inside me basically since I knew what a shoe was.  When I was just a little squirt my mom held up a pair of sneakers and a pair of mini loafers and asked me which I wanted to wear … Knocking the shoes out of her hands, I yelled, “PARTY SHOES!” and threw a mini-tantrum until she slid those shiny black, patent leather mary-janes on my baby feet.

For the last twenty-odd years my mom and other concerned members of my life have been reminding me that, if I continue to wear six inch platforms and ridiculous wedges day in and day out, I will have the knees of an 80-year-old before I’m over the hill and my feet will morph into creatures of Planet Bunion.

For the last few months now I’ve had a naughty, little worry wart growing in the back of my mind.  “What was that creak in my knee?” … “Is my shin crooked?” … “What if I have to get my feet (or legs!) amputated?”.  I don’t know what brought on the anxiety, but I decided to weigh the pros and cons of a beautiful high heel.  After all, what else can legally make a woman feel so sexy, powerful, elegant and/or pretty?

HEEL CONS:

1) Heels push the center of mass forward, throwing your hips and spine out of whack. Support your local chiropractor.

2) Calf muscles contract, shorten and tighten. Not sure why this is a BAD thing… All you yogis out there be quite.

3) Tissue builds around nerves and can cause pain or numbness in your toes. Then I can really jam ‘em in to the pointiest of heels…

4) Hammertoes.  Sounds dynamic.

5) Haglunds Deformity (or “pump bump”): The bony enlargement caused by the back of the heel (I didn’t know there was a name for this, much less one that included the word “deformity”…).  Hmm…

6) Pressure on the knee causing osteoarthritis.  Good think I love milk almost as much as heels.

7) Bunions, corns, ingrown toenails, lower back pain, headaches…

OKAY! Enough.  Let’s move along to the pros of high heels.

HEEL PROS:

1) Feeling put together

2) Feeling powerful

3) Feeling sexy

4) Feeling feminine

5) Feeling confident

6) “Hey! My feet look so small and dainty!”

7) “Hey! Look how much longer my legs look!”

8) Strengthens pelvic muscles (better sex!)

There you have it! There are more pros than cons to wearing high heels. Phew!  For a second there I thought I might be stopping by the Easy Spirit store on my way home from work.

Wear em’ tall, wear ‘em proud ladies!

FYI: An American Classic

Kitty introduced me to this website for the Grilled Cheese Academy.  It has recipes for a bunch of fun and fancy ways to make grilled cheese sandwiches and they all sound amazing.  I can’t wait to try some out! My mouth is watering already…

Grilled Cheese Academy

Beautiful.

Hodgepodge

While searching for a worthy TUESDAY OF KNOWLEDGE topic this morning, I found a goldmine of facts that are too delightfully interesting to choose just one.  These are sure to beef up your trivia bank significantly:

1) Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 10 to 100 times a day. Bummer for us.

2) The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. Slightly creepy.

3) The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee. Slightly gross.

4) When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red. Cute.

5) Speaking of red, when hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. Not cute.

6) Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros. I’d like one google dollars, please.

7) Einstein couldn’t speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded. Whoops.

8) A whale’s penis is called a dork. A camel’s penis is called a dude.  Why aren’t they just called a “penis”?

9) America once issued a 5-cent bill. I’d love a roll of them.

10) David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader’s lines, and didn’t know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.  Ouch.

Stay tuned! Next week could be just as fun!

FYI: Internet Match-Making

This is a supplement to a fact I mentioned a few days ago about online dating.

I said before that 1 in 10 marriages in 2009 were between people who had met on the Internet.  Well, not only that, but I just read in the newest People magazine that, in 2009, 1 in 5 new couples met online!  That is, for every 100 sets of honeymoonin’ lovebirds you see out canoodling in a corner both, 20 of those probably introduced themselves via email.

My faith in Match.com grows stronger with every statistic. Speaking of Match.com, I have a date on Thursday with a new guy.  More on that later!

“Shake” Up Your Knowledge

Today’s TUESDAY OF KNOWLEDGE stems from my fascination of the English language, as well as my ever-growing passion for Thesaurus.com and synonyms in general.

Being a child of the 80′s, when it comes to creative entertainment, I naturally gravitate towards action movies and cable television more than dramatic poetry and tragicomedies (Where for art thou Jason Bourne?). However, there is a figure of our past who captures my attention in a way that’s unique to his general celebrity.  His name was William Shakespeare (or Willm Shaksp or Wm Shakspere or various other spellings of his name that he used… because he never actually signed his name William Shakespeare… that we know of anyway.).

As you -hopefully- well know, Billy Shakespeare is best known for his plays like Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet.  I’m sure they’re lovely (the movies are… meh), but what impresses me most about the 16th century writer was his ability to straight-up create words that he used in his work.  Now I’m not talking about mumbo-jumbo kind words that pop up randomly and mostly just confuse the reader (maybe there were a couple of those), but he literally invented words that are now an integral part of the English we use today (over 1,700 words to be not very exact).  What a genius!

Here is a ultra-condensed list of Words by Shakespeare (I picked out my favorites):

Bandit, Blushing, Bump, Champion, Critic, Dawn, Dwindle, Excitement, Exposure, Eyeball, Flawed, Gloomy, Glow, Gnarled, Gossip, Hint, Hurry, Lackluster, Majestic, Monumental, Radiance, Suspicious, Switch, Wish

If you think that’s cool, then you’ll also be interested in some of the common phrases coined by the mastermind that was William Shakespeare:

“Catch a cold”, “Fair play”, “Foregone conclusion”, “Heart of gold” and “Heartsick”, “It’s Greek to me”, “Mind’s eye”, “One fell swoop”, “Too much of a good thing”

I need to stop and take a breather.

………

Whew – It just gets my wheels goin’… If only I could leave behind the legacy of even ONE word…

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

What’s up, Sun?

Well this article is slightly unnerving… Please don’t go away my beloved sunshine.  I love you too much.

From New Scientist, What’s wrong with the Sun?

One of my besties